Wednesday, July 11, 2007 premieres

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.
The lesson is, never try. " --Homer Simpson

I admit, I let out an audible gasp of excitement last night when I read the headline on MSNBC. Darren looked over at me, maybe to see if I was having a stroke. But no, it's just that Springfield, VERMONT, has won hosting rights to the "Simpsons Movie" premiere, which will take place on July 21 in the town's tiny 100-seat theater. Vermont took 15,367 votes, to 14,634 for the next highest vote-getter, Illinois. Yay! Their movie concept was great, the kid who filmed it was only 17(!) and there could be no more perfect place for the Simpsons to live than Vermont. I couldn't be more proud.

Now, of course, the ugliness begins. Comments on USA Today (where the contest ran) range from the appropriately congratulatory to the big fat whiny loser-y. One person from Colorado wrote "Im not saying that the video sucked cause it wasn't that bad, but I honest think there were WAY better ones. The guy chased a doughnut through town. I mean come on." First of all, he "honest" thinks? Second, what was your great concept, big fat LOSER? I'm sorry. I shouldn't gloat. That's unbecoming.

Another post reads "Vermont's Springfield S.U.C.K.S!!!!!!" Umm, excuse me? "S.U.C.K.S!!!!!!"? What the hell is that? Some sort of acronym? I mean, it has to be, right? You don't spell words with punctuation between each letter, do you? If it's an acronym, I'm having a really tough time figuring out what it stands for. I'll post again when I come up with the answer.

Others, however, were gracious in defeat. The mayor of Springfield, Oregon, which would have been the only deserving alternative to Vermont, in my humble opinion, displayed an admirable sense of sportsmanship. "If it wasn't going to be us, then Vermont, to me, is a good choice," Leiken said during a news conference at City Hall. "I'm not disappointed." What a guy, right? And that's why Oregon's Springfield should be deemed runner-up, and take over the title in the event that Vermont's Springfield is unable to fulfull the duties of the position.

Vermont Governor Jim Douglas (whom I've actually interviewed in person, and let's just say he's not exactly hilarious) apparently commented "To all the other Springfields, I say, 'Don't have a cow, man.'" Hee hee.

Go Vermont and congrats Springfield!

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