Thursday, May 29, 2008

"Not Everything's Black or White, You Know"

Sometimes people say that to me. Often I consider these people to be stooopid. Because duh, of course not everything is black or white. Only a moron would classify everything as being black or white.

But many things are easy to categorize. Like people. People are easy to categorize. All you have to do is say "There are two kinds of people in this world..." and then complete the sentence with whatever you think is most descriptive. Lately, I've come up with a bunch. And I'm sure now that I'm thinking about it there'll be a lot more, so feel free to check back:

There are two kinds of people in this world-
  • The kind who think audience participation is fun, and the kind who wish their chair wasn't bolted to the floor, so they could use it to bash in the heads of the people who like audience participation.

  • The kind of people for whom the yellow light indicates to proceed with caution, and the kind of people who are already think of explanations in case they get pulled over for running what was really barely a red light anyway.

  • The kind of people who stand back and wait for an elevator to empty before entering, and the kind of people who press their noses to the metal, just waiting for the car to arrive at their floor so they can launch themselves in as soon as it opens. Because, of course, there wouldn't be anyone else on it waiting to get off.

  • The kind of people who like to try new foods, and the kind of people who dry-heave at the mere mention of things like curry, or sushi, or, and I can barely type this, tofu.
My four extremely loyal blog readers can feel free to share their own.

5 comments:

Cindy said...

The kind of people who know how a drive-thru functions and the kind who don't bother to ask people in their car what they want until they get to the speaker (and then don't have money ready at the next window either).

* said...

OMG, I think we go to the same drive-thru! :)

El Dolor said...

The kind of people who know how to spell their names and the kind who spell Jessica with a 'k'.

Cindy said...

The kind of people who sit in traffic and deal with it and the kind of people who think the shoulder is their own personal driving lane because they are so special.

simple said...

the kind of people who use their turn signal when they actually turn and the kind who use their turn signal when they think they will be turning a mile down the road.

the kind of people who genuinely ask questions to learn about a person and the kind who ask questions so they can find a way to talk about themselves.