Tuesday, August 28, 2007

For Those Who Already Rock

As you may know, I recently found myself watching Scott Baio's existential crisis (in which he wonders why screwing Playboy Bunnies is no longer enough, or something) as played out on "Scott Baio is 45 and Single." It's something like watching a car accident occur--you don't want to see what's going to happen, and yet you can't look away. I was once a big, big fan of "Happy Days" (I named my guinea pig "The Fonz") so that might explain my interest in Scott Baio, but the sad truth is, I never really counted myself among Poison's fan base.

Which may be why "Rock of Love" didn't immediately catch my eye. This VH1 show poignantly depicts Poison lead singer Bret Michaels' search for love, via reality television. I was prepared for an emotional roller coaster, of course, but little did I know how high some of the highs would be. During the episode I viewed, Bret's soul mates-in-training were taken to a moto-cross track where they competed for his love. But only after a short motivational speech, which Bret opened with "As you know, I love to rock..." It was a spectacular opening.

From now on, I'm going to try and open all of my important sentences that way.

"As you know, I love to rock, so could you please give me a $10 and two $5's for this $20?"

"As you know, I love to rock, and that's why I'm proposing that we completely overhaul our website navigation..."

"As you know, I love to rock, which means that this Christmas I will be purchasing George Foreman grills for all of my friends and family members."

You get the idea. Try it. It's fun!

Note-Astute readers may have spotted Bret Michaels' Bret Michaels t-shirt in the picture above. Trippy. It's almost like taking a picture of yourself taking a picture of yourself in the mirror. Or ingesting psychedelic mushrooms.

No comments: